Wow, that was a boring football game.  Painfully boring.  Went to a good party though so at least we had some measure of entertainment.  I think both teams were using the proven “bore them into submission” technique, perfected by one Mr. Frerking.  Oh well, I had a big bowl of funyuns and some spaghetti, what else could I ask for.  As for the rest of the weekend, it wasn’t too bad.  Friday night we watched “A Mighty Wind” and ate pizza.  Good wholesome entertainment there.  Saturday night we went to the big UMKC basketball game with a bunch of people, and managed to jinx them into breaking their big winning streak.  I will say it was a heck of a lot more exciting game than that lame Super Bowl though, complete with an exciting, if rather disappointing, finale.  If you missed the game, Chicago State hit two impossible, Hail Mary 3-pointers in the final 1.9 seconds of the game; the first one tied it and the second won it.  Jinx of the Kenagys, I tell you.

Well, I’ve finally come to terms with my sissy gym.  (Actually, not a “gym”, they prefer to call it a “club.”  Strike one right there.)  I’ve made it up there at least four times a week now for the last several weeks, so I think I’m officially back in the swing of exercising.  Unfortunately 10 pounds crept back on my gut during my little hiatus, but I’ll live.  That place is just not my style though, whatever my style might be.  Maybe I don’t have one and that’s the issue… Anyway, we’ll see how long this run lasts.  The list of things that annoy me about the place is quite long, but at the end of the day it wins out over my other options with location and price.  I’ll jot down a few of the things that I find bothersome about it, so that way in case you’re ever up there you’ll know how to act.  The first thing I would do is get rid of the telephone.  Why in the world do you need a telephone right there in the middle of all the equipment?  You don’t.  I have seen people walk in, use the phone for 20 minutes, and walk out, never touching a single piece of exercise equipment.  Why???  I don’t get it.  The second (and this was a very close race for first place) is to cut off access between the sauna room and the workout room.  I do not need to see a bunch of flabby old men parading around half-nekked.  (Usually standing there talking on the stupid phone.)  In the unforgettable words of my drill instructor, good ol’ Sergeant Whassisname:  “#*%&^, SON, YOU ARE NOT ON A #*$&%&^ BEACH, PUT YOUR #*%&@$ SHIRT ON!!!!”  (I was always fascinated how they could compose a sentence with more expletives than actual words.)  If all else fails, just refer to one of the many signs hanging everywhere politely reminding you to wear a shirt and shoes.  Good grief.  The third thing I’d do would be to throw away all the magazines.  People will sit on the benches and read those magazines more than they actually use the equipment.  There’s a library right up the street, folks.  And I swear, I was up there the other day, minding my own business on the elliptical machine, (actually if I could mind my own business none of these things would bother me) and this guy gets on the one next to me and starts reading some magazine that no self-respecting male should read.  I don’t remember the name of the publication, but it was embarrassing.  “Hollywood Insider” or something like that.  Dude.  There’s a copy of “V-Twin” right over there on the rack, shall I go get it for you?  Lastly, and some of you might find this one odd, they need to kick out the all the hot chicks that insist on working out in some kind of freakishly modified lingerie.  It’s distracting.  You’re supposed to be working out, not modeling for S.I. swimsuit edition.  Put your clothes on.  That one is pretty distant from the half-nekked old guys in terms of annoyance, but it’s on the list all the same.

Now mind you, I am not putting total blame for everything on everybody else.  Oh, no, I’m making changes too.  Yesterday I reloaded my MP3 player with some “cheerier” tunes, and it did seem to help a bit.  I don’t know where I got that junk, but most of the songs I had on there really had little value outside of perhaps ritualistic animal slaying.  So I dumped all those in favor of more “traditional” tunes.  We’re not talking KUDL stuff, just a little “tamer” so to speak.  And, what do you know, not once during the whole time I was there did I have to fight the urge to throw a dumbbell at somebody.  Things are looking up.